Permaneo Lacuna
by Shyma Tavrott Lupin
Summary: Inside this box is a few things I’ve left behind for you.A few other prized possessions of mine,a load of pictures,and a few posthumous letters from both myself and your parents.So go on and explore what you couldn't before-Your Uncle,Ian Rider. Non-Slash
1. Prologue

**Hey guys, just a little something that came to me this morning (Oh how inspirational a simple shower can be XD) and I thought I'd write it up and post it as soon as possible. I quite like the idea and I hope you do too.**

**Man, I am on fire today! First and update on Quondum Iterum and then Infragilis Vinculum and now this! It's just an Alex Rider kind of day for me XD Oh and this isn't related to my story Quondum Iterum in any way, by the way-just thought I'd let you know that =] Anyway, Enjoy!**

22 year old Alex Rider stepped into the empty room and took a deep breath of air. This was it. Ian Rider's old office.

Eight years later Alex had finally gained the courage to take up the place MI6 had offered him years ago. They'd emptied it of Ian's things ages ago, and now it was nothing but an empty white room. Alex looked around it once again and saw it just the same as he'd seen it the last hundred times he'd looked…except for one thing. An object in the corner of the room caught Alex's attention. He turned towards it and found it to be a large cardboard box.

He frowned at the box and began to walk towards it. What on earth was a cardboard box that looked like it was stuffed to the brim doing in the corner of his office?

Upon approaching the box he saw a note attached to it with a bit of gaffa tape. He snatched the note off the box and began to read it:

_He said to give it to you when it was time. We think it's __**about**__ time._

_-Ms. Jones _

Alex furrowed his brows at the note. Well that made just about as much sense as the box itself. He sighed and sat down on the floor in front of the box. He opened it up and picked up the first piece of paper on top of the mound. His eyes began to skim the writing on the paper, but froze as he suddenly recognized the neat script to be none other than that of his own uncle. His eyes went back to the top of the paper and this time, began to read it carefully.

_Dear Alex_

_Inside this box is a few things I've left behind for you. Things I would have loved to show you whilst I was still around to do so but unfortunately your unawareness of MI6 would have made that rather difficult. So since you're reading this I'm assuming you no longer have to worry about that and are free to explore this ocean of memories I've left you. This is simply an introductory letter, but underneath this are a few other prized possessions of mine, a load of pictures, little things, a few posthumous letters from your parents, as well as two I've written of my own. So go on and dig in and explore what you couldn't for all these years._

_Your Uncle_

_Ian James Rider_

Alex took a deep breath, a sense of both anxiety and nervousness rooting inside of him. He looked at the box again. Things Ian had left him. Just the thought that Ian had once touched the very letter in his hand and the box itself gave Alex an odd feeling inside. He shook it off and picked up the next paper off the pile and began to read…

**Alright, that's it for the prologue, but the next one will be Ian's posthumous letter to Alex. I've already got it written up, I just need to know if you guys want to see it or not. So as soon as I get some kind of positive feedback I'll get the next one up =]**

**So please, Review!!**


	2. Ian to Alex

**Hey guys, thanks a million for your positive reviews, really made me smile there =] So here's the second one for you, it's Ian's posthumous letter to Alex. Enjoy!**

_Dear Alex,_

_If you're reading this I must be dead. And you must be pissed. You never were very good with your emotions-anger, sadness, things like that. Just like your father. When that_

_man got angry or sad the world would fall apart. You're just like him. You know Alex, you are much more like him than you know. It hurt me-to keep everything about your past from you,_

_so I guess now's a good time to tell. Now before I get started with that let's just get the basics done and over with; I hope you know however it is that I died, I didn't mean it. I would_

_never leave you on purpose-you're not the only person that has only one person left to call family. I might not have openly showed it all the time but you meant as much to me as I did to_

_you and I would never do anything to hurt you. I know MI6 has probably pulled you in, but that was pretty much inevitable. You can blame the entire Rider family for that. I didn't really_

_plan on joining MI6 myself but curse the family, I got pulled into it the same way you're being; through the death of family. Except for you it's your uncle and for me it was my parents. I_

_had John and you have Jack. Simple differences. And just know that I had to hide my being an agent from you and Jack. I didn't want you to get involved with any of it. I wanted to live_

_under the delusion that I could protect you from having to face that one day. I tried, Alex, god knows I tried._

_Alright, now that, that's done, I think we can move on. I think you deserve a good explanation from me. From me because I'm sure if you've joined MI6, then you've run into people of my_

_and John's past, people like Ash, or Yassen and many others. And I'm sure you've heard many stories as well, but I need you to trust what I tell you to be the honest to god truth. So do_

_yourself a favor and sit down; this is going to take a while._

_Your father…he was a good man and you reminded me so much of him that at first I couldn't even look at you. Since I'm dead and have nothing to lose I feel no shame in saying that_

_as collective and perfect I made myself seem, I was a coward. Back then at least; when your father died I was only 20 of four months. My brother was my life. Seven years my senior, he_

_was the one that basically raised me and he meant the world to me. Your mother was just as close, she was like a sister to me. And having to lose the both of them so fast so soon hurt._

_I hope you will never have to face the pain I had to face the day I was told your parents were dead. And then they told me both your parents had named me to be your legal guardian. I_

_was just barely 20, I'd just lost the two most important people of my life and now my three month old nephew who was a spitting image of my beloved brother, was under my care. I'm_

_sure you can imagine things were a little rough. And to top it off I had MI6 to deal with. You can hardly blame me for ending up a little messed up. Eventually I began to look at you less_

_as John and more as you. Meaning you became John's legacy-you were his son and we had something in common. You know what that was, Alex? We had no one else. We were both_

_alone in the world other than one another. It was precisely that, which made me care for you unconditionally and grow the need to protect you and keep you safe._

_However as I'm sure you're learning very rapidly, life in MI6 isn't easy. Rather anything but. It was hard. For me to have to juggle your safety with my work. And to add to that, Jack_

_was my responsibility as well, seeing as she was living under my roof. Of course later I came to care for her safety almost as much as your own but that is beside the point. Sometimes it_

_was incredibly hard to balance out both parts of my life-both to be perfect in the MI6 world as well as yours. And sometimes I lost track of yours. So for that I apologize deeply because_

_don't ever, for a single second think that I didn't know how much it affected you because I knew. I sure as hell knew._

_I'm sure you've already, and if you haven't then soon will run into both your father's and my own enemies. Bent on revenge or something like that. Listen to me and listen to me_

_good when I warn you to trust no one in our world. In this world everyone is an enemy and friendship is an excuse for betrayal. Your father learned that the hard way and I wish you_

_never have to come across the situation he came across. Anthony Sean Howell or Ash as you'll probably know him, your father trusted him with his life. Biggest mistake he ever made_

_because in the end Ash was the one that killed him-then disappeared off the face of the earth because I went off in a wild rampage and almost killed him. I won't go into the details-you'll_

_probably find them out on your own. That and I would like to finish this letter without having a complete breakdown. But the point is, keep yourself alert and aware, Alex, you've stepped_

_into dangerous territory and I'm afraid you probably won't be getting out soon. So be careful-and if you're reading this then please, for both of our sake, be more careful than I was._

_I am leaving this letter in my personal storage within MI6 ranks itself where it is most safe. I trust you'll find it or it will be given to you when the time is right. There is an infinite_

_amount of things more that I'd love to spend the rest of eternity telling you, but I'm afraid I'm a bit short on time right now-I'll be leaving for Cornwall in a little while. But with the little_

_time I've got I just wanted you to know that you are my nephew, you are the son of my brother and you are my blood. And though I am not allowed to show it as much as I'd like, I do-_

_er, did love you. I'm sorry I couldn't be the uncle you wanted me to be. I'm sorry. Take care, Alex, live a good life and most of all be happy._

_Your Uncle,_

_Ian James Rider_

Alex fell to the ground out of his crouch and took a deep breath. _Calm down, Rider, getting emotional now isn't going to help anybody. _He sat down properly, tucking his legs underneath him, and set Ian's letter on the ground next to him. He brushed the back of his hand across his eyes, took another deep breath and pulled the next sheet of paper from the pile and began to read...

**Alright, so that was Ian to Alex. I know there are a few things in there that aren't from Horowitz's actual franchise but if you've read my other stories such as Quondum Iterum or Infragilis Vinvulum, you'd know those are a few things I always hold in Ian's background when writing him. Hope it wasn't too oc =] That and the fact that I made Ian open up his mind a bit and show his emotions, I hope it wasn't very oc =]**

**Anywho, the next one is going to be from Ian to Jack *insert series of awwww's* I look at Jack and Ian's relationship as a romantic one so the letter will hint likewise. So hopefully I'll have that one up soon. Till then, **

**Review!! =]**


	3. Ian To Jack

**Alright guys, here's the next one for ya. This one is Ian's letter to Jack. So Enjoy!!**

_Dear Jack,_

_ Oh god, I thought Alex was pissed off, I'm probably going to hear you from hell. I guess it's a little late to apologize and finally giving in to all the times you'd tried to probe me into giving in whatever secret it was that you knew I was hiding, eh? Well sorry anyway. If you're reading this, I'm sure my will has been released already. So you've probably seen that I named you Alex's legal gaurdian. I can trust no one more than you and I'm sure Alex feels the same. _

_ Jack...this is as hard for me to write as it is for you to read. If there's one thing I regret the most in my life then it's not telling you about my real job. It would have made things eternities easier for us. It would have made you trust me a little more, maybe even equal the blind faith had for you. And for one it would have loosened the somehwat awkward air that's always been between us. To this day it exists, even the slightest bit, which is why, even through writing, I can't seem to bring myself to speak the outward truth. Speak my feelings out...but I'm sure there's no need for that. You probably know my feelings and the way I work better than my own self. _

_ You know, Jack, when I first met you I didn't think you'd become the person that knew me better than I knew myself. I didn't think you'd be one of the first people I would think of leaving a posthumous letter to. I didn't think I'd end up caring for you the way I do, but here we are today, you are fast asleep and I am sitting in my room at the dead of night, struggling to let the words from my heart onto the paper-yes I actually do have a heart, as I'm sure you were and have been wondering for the past seven years. And yes, it is possible for me to love and care unconditionally. Despite the arguments you and I have had over the past few years over my "lack of emotion." Look at me, I'm sitting here laughing into the darkness of my room like a crazed old man just thinking about how we used to argue like some old married couple. After seven years it does tend to become like that, doesn't it? We all tend to become somewhat of a family. An odd little family of myself, you and Alex. Happy Family...or not..._

_Jack, I am trusting you with so much by giving you rights over my nephew. Just know that Alex is-or rather was if you're reading this-my life and nothing would hurt me more than if something were to happen to him. So please watch after him just as you know I would have(except I'm sure you'll do somewhat of a better job...) And please regard his life as if it were my own. Nothing would make me happier now that I'm dead._

_Do you know what the worst part of dying is? The fact that I am most probably going to end up in hell, the farthest place from where you will be, dear angel of heavens. You were a gift, you know. You are what made me believe in God, because Satan couldn't have possibly conjured a being such as yourself. It had to be the work of God. And the doings of God for you to have shown up at my doorstep seven years ago. There's no other explanation than a more than generous gift from the Providence. A gift I took advantage of to no end, and for that I must ask you to forgive me. Please, I cannot rest in peace without knowing I have the forgiveness of both yourself and Alex._

_In seven years, Jack, you have become so much more to me than just the housekeeper and Alex's babysitter. So much more I couldn't possibly explain them in words. To me love has always been unconditional care, communication through eye contact, knowing one another like an open book, and more than anything else, wanting happiness for the other. And for what it's worth, I can tell you that love is a very loose term to describe our relationship. Over the course of seven years it became...much...much more. And on that note I must bring this letter to a close (as least I want.) Thank you for all you've ever done for me, Jack. Take care of Alex and more importantly, yourself._

_Ian Rider_

Alex smiled a bit at the paper in his hands. He always had a feeling Jack and Ian...never mind that now. Ian probably wouldn't have wanted him snooping around his personal business anyways. _But knowing Ian, he'd probably predicted I would anyway...maybe that's why he kept from putting too much detail into it..._

With the thought on mind, Alex set the letter aside and reached for the next one on the pile. He looked to the top of the paper, and surprisingly found written in neat print were the words:

_Dear Ian,_

Alex raised a brow at the writing that looked so much like his own, and continued to read down the page...

**Alright, a bit short, I know, but the next one will be up super fast. Promise =] Any guesses as to who the next one is?**

**For this letter, from Ian to Jack, I really wanted this to be something short and sweet, not long and explanatory like Ian and Alex's one, because I wanted to show that Jack and Ian had a special kind of understanding towards one another. They'd grown seeing each other every so often so the smallest amount of words would mean the biggest things to both of them. Same goes for the letter. And it didn't seem very Ian-like to just come out with it and say I love you. I imagined him as more of a tragic romantic XD What do you guys think??**

**Reviews are loved!!! =]**


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